Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I wish I could be there with you

Homesickness is definitely something I've prepared myself for. I was even proactive about it by packing my favorite chocolate, breakfast oatmeal, and those movies that I've watched over and over again. But the hardest thing I will probably experience is the news I knew would eventually come since before I left. No matter how much mental preparedness you have about it but nothing can make you 100% ready to lose someone important in your life. Just yesterday, I got news that my grandmother, one of the most amazing women I've ever known, passed away: her body was just too old to house her active spirit.

It's going to be hard not to make this blog entry carry notes of sadness, but I think it's important to express that being so far away and doing something so amazing has its costs. Part of experiencing something new means letting some things go: some temporarily and others for much much longer. My grandmother has been the greatest inspiration for the adventures I've taken in my life. She was originally from New Zealand and has always had the explorer's spirit and was also very creative. She sailed, traveled, and continued to pursue her art in form of painting, drawing, photography and jewelry making. AND she could make a mean pie. I am so very fortunate to have learned many of these skills directly from her. I can sincerely say that I know she lived a full life.

I came to Indonesia knowing she would not make it through the year, I said my goodbyes and gave her a hug. She encouraged me to come here, I'm sure she would have been more than interested in coming with me if she could have managed. Nevertheless, it is a loss that I feel deeply. I am lucky to have very supportive people here In Banjarmasin as well as supportive friends and family back home and am able to contact them in an instant thanks to the fabulous net and the intermittent Skype that is at times fraught with delays and echoes. I tried to make as much peace as possible before coming here in knowing I won't physically be with my family at this time but I wish I could be there with you.

1 comment:

Electronicah said...

I'm so sorry to hear this news. You definitely got her pie-making skills. Sending good thoughts...